A Mom’s Diary: Page 1

How come babies/kids don’t come with manuals???”

I’ve read this a lot of times in parenting blogs or articles but never really truly appreciated it until my son became a toddler. Indeed, parenting is hard and in my case (or maybe I’m not alone) it can be physically, emotionally and mentally draining. There were times I find myself tearing up out of frustration and exhaustion while silently muttering “I never signed up for this.” Or sometimes I’d locked myself inside our bedroom just to find a minute of peace. It may sound funny but trust me these are the moments when I’m on the verge of running out the front door. Don’t get me wrong, I love my son to bits but parenting is just too tiring! And my husband working hundreds of kilometers away doesn’t help. I do get a bit of help though. We hired a nanny and once in a while, my parents or in-laws would help out.  If it weren’t for them I might be out of my mind right now.

Then again, I’m just a firs- time mom. Maybe the fact that these are all new to me is probably why I find it exhausting.  There isn’t a degree in college about parenting (or is there???) to help me prepare. I did read a lot of books and blogs though but nothing can truly prepare us 100% since every child or situation is different. Then there’s the mommy instinct. They said the moment we see our child, the mommy instinct will kick in. In my case, I think it was just a pinch. Or maybe I’m just being too hard on myself.

I’m not scaring or discouraging you about being a parent. As I said earlier, children and situations vary and it’s how you approach parenting that’s important. I know I should take it easy and find something to laugh about these experiences. Well, I’m still learning and  being a parent is a continuous learning process. But there are times when I pray for that manual for my child but I realized I am my own manual. My child learns from me or from the tools I allow him to learn from. Also, maybe if I don’t let my (tired) emotions get in the way, I just might make this parenting a bit easier. Might. Let’s see.

*Photo from: https://blogs.babycenter.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/12/dear-diary-300×200.jpg

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